Shad Khan for Mustached American of the Year
I’ve nominated Shad Khan to be the 2012 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year. You can do the same by clicking here, and I urge you to do so. My nomination address follows:
A self-made billionaire Pakistani immigrant and auto parts tycoon, Shad Khan has ended the decades-long reign of Jeff Fisher as Best Mustache Owner in the National Football League with his purchase of the Jacksonville Jaguars. Shad’s facial enhancement has captured the imagination of the First Coast and ushered in a new thousand year reign of sub-nasal decadence by way of his extraordinary facial achievement. Forty years of focused effort have culminated in a follicle accomplishment unrivaled in professional sports.